Week 1 Storytelling: Got Off On The Wrong Horn

(Edited by Andrew Lang and illustrated by L. Leslie Brooke)

Nursery Rhyme Book 

There once was a lion and a unicorn that did not get along. There was an election in their home town Clantersbee five years ago. So, they were both running for mayor at the time and happy together without a thought about time. Election day came though and ended in an odd way. 

In front of a crowd of their peers, the lion and unicorn began to debate with each other. The lion told the unicorn to prance back to Black Beauty. The unicorn told the lion to go back to ruling Narnia. All of a sudden, a fight broke out between them. Their were undecided voters watching, and then everyone heard a giant roar! It turned out that the unicorn's horn got stuck in the lion's hindquarters. Thus, voters gave their allegiance to the lion after seeing the unicorn act in such a manner. 

One year later when the lion was still mayor, he ran into the unicorn. They both stared each other down in the town square and neither forgot their last meeting. The lion just laughed at the unicorn, turned around, and kept walking. The crowd watched and when the lion thought all was well, he let out a roar that shook the ground! The unicorn had ran and again stuck his horn where the sun did not shine. A lovely walk about the town turned into an all out brawl. 

The lion jumped at the unicorn and threw him into the apple stand. The unicorn chewed up an apple and spat it in the lion's face while stamping him into the dirt. Both had caused so much damage to the town square that residents soon made a decision to stop the fight by getting rid of the lion and unicorn completely. One man offered the lion and unicorn white bread, but it did not get there attention as they ripped through the arts and crafts tent. One woman offered the lion and unicorn brown bread, but it still had no effect on them. Right when the lion and unicorn almost ran into a bakery, the baker, trying to save his shop, offered them plum-cake. The lion and unicorn were entranced by its smell.

Both the lion and unicorn asked where more of this plum-cake was. The baker said he ran out, but the town baker in Cliptonsville a mile away has some. So, the lion and unicorn left together to get the plum-cake, were unknowingly kicked out of town, and became friends again over dessert. Who knows if they lived happily ever after with their ongoing quarrels. 

Author's Note. This story was based on the nursery rhyme "The Lion and The Unicorn."  It reads:

The lion and the unicorn 

Were fighting for the crown;

The lion beat the unicorn 

All around about the town.

Some gave them white bread,

And some gave them brown;

Some gave them plum-cake,

And sent them out of town. 

You can find this rhyme in a book edited by Andrew Lang (1897) called The Nursery Rhyme Book.

My initial thought when writing this story was the book "The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe" by C.S. Lewis (1950). I made the lion and and unicorn fight each other like the White Witch and Aslan (the lion) do in Narnia. They both wanted to rule a kingdom. The major difference I created at the end. I once had to lure out a possum from my garage with some bread and apples. It took the bait so I figured I'd implement that as a way to get the lion and unicorn out of town in a comic way. Serious fighting was diminished in seconds because of plum-cake. So, the lion and unicorn became friends through mutual love of plum-cake and were outwitted by the townspeople. It was a bittersweet and fun ending.