Beowulf falls down with the dragon and he bodyrolls.
The dragon looks at Beowulf and utters his last words, "This isn't over."
The dragon lets out an ear-piercing scream. Suddenly, the time travel portal opens again.
They hear God's voice saying, "Come on! Run, you fools!"
Mr. Rabbit, Alice, Adam, Beowulf, and Eve jump into the portal without question. They all are screaming as they are weightless and have no control. All of a sudden, boom! They all hit the ground after falling out of the portal.
Eve yells to God, "What is the meaning of this? We have done what you have asked."
Mr. Rabbit follows her lead. "Yes! I am homesick and wish to go back now."
God speaks, "You have one last task. You must defeat Satan's army."
Adam says, "We know bu-"
God replies, "No buts. If you do not defeat him, we all will perish. When you killed the dragon, you saved one of my worlds. Satan has control over every world currently but that one you just saved. The only way for Satan to be in total control is for you to lose the battle against his army. I waited to send you on this journey late into other realms so you could pass through them unsuspected since he leaves once he's conquered land."
Alice, "So where are we? What do we do, God?"
God says, "Follow this road you've landed on to the castle. Satan will arrive at dawn for battle."
Beowulf looks up and says, "Will we hear from you again?"
God says, "Only if you need me. I am never far off."
God closes the portal and leaves them.
Beowulf says, "Okay, let's move out."
They walk to the castle and are very tired by the end.
The castle guard yells from the top of the wall, "Who goes there?"
Beowulf responds, "God's chosen company. I am Beowulf and this is Alice, Mr. Rabbit, Adam, and Eve."
The guard eagerly opens the door. When it finally opens, a cheering crowd meets them. The whole crew is greeted with phrases like "The last warriors!" "Saviors!" "Finally, at last."
The whole crew is taken to the king of Mecken, the final free realm. He greets them with joyous laughter, "Finally, the ones who will save us!"
Eve responds, "Sir, Satan is coming and we must act quickly before he catches us off guard."
Alice responds, "This is true. If you haven't fortified, you must."
Mr. Rabbit, "We are hilariously out numbered."
The king replies, "We are fortified. We have just been waiting on you friends!"
Beowulf talks quickly, "Okay, well, lets talk fighting strategies then."
The king responds, "We have those in place as we-"
All of a sudden, they hear a loud boom! Everyone runs to the gate. Satan, a massive black figure with black armor, stands four hundred yards out with his staff in one hand. He pounds it on the ground again and a whole army of devils comes up out of the ground behind him. Satan lifts his staff up and forward signaling his army of thirty million to attack.
Author's note: In this story I used third person narration because it is my favorite writing style. My goal for this story was to set the stage for the final last battle between God's heroes and Satan's army. The story needed a dramatic feel and entrance
for Satan. I believe I delivered well on that point. My other goal was to try
and boost the confidence of the heroes as they came into the castle. I wanted
people cheering their names and making them feel like they are the answer to
all the problems. They are about to face Satan after all! Finally, it happens.
Satan shows up and they must face the greatest battle of their days.
In the original story, The Sunrise and the Serpent, Satan is a snake and attacks Adam and Eve at dawn. He attacks out of jealousy, but is thwarted by God's power.
In my story, it is just conceptually accurate with the original. Satan attacks at dawn out of jealousy towards God's power.
Bibliography: The Sunrise and the Serpent, The forgotten Books of Eden, Rutherford Platt, 1926.
Hey Ben! I enjoyed reading your story this week. I liked that there was a lot of dialogue because it made it more entertaining to read. One thing you have to watch out for is staying in the same tense. The first sentence is in past tense, but then the next is present tense. Besides that I think you did a good job, and I look forward to reading more of your work this semester!
ReplyDeleteI chose to visit your portfolio this week because I wanted to see your progress with the characters. I thought the story was entertaining. It had very good details to help provide an image for the reader.
ReplyDeleteI was a little confused on if Beowulf killed the dragon or not because he managed to talk to Beowulf. I think you could fix this problem with saying something like “the dragon’s last words were.” I am assuming he meant it is not over because of their next mission?
The only other mistake I saw was in the first of the story when “he body rolled.” I was wondering if that was an action or if his body rolled? I think being a little more descriptive there would help.
Your author’s note explained the story very well. I like how you were able to tie all the characters in to this story. I look forward to reading more of their adventures!
Hey Ben!
ReplyDeleteThe coolest thing about your portfolio was that all of the story play off one another. You did a great job at combining the stories each week to make one big interconnected story that brought all the different tales all in one. This story is my favorite out of your portfolio because of all the dialogue. I left like I was right in the middle of the story. You were able to take stories that were worlds different from each other and find similarities between them so they can be connected as one. All of your paragraphs flow really well from one to the other and the grammar looks great to me! I am happy that you chose to use the third person writing style because this made the story much easier to understand. I wish I knew what happens at the end, but I hope God overturns Satan because God is more powerful. The image you used was a cute cartoon that created a more animated idea in my head.