Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Storytelling Week 2: Alice and Rabbit in Eden


(Illustration  by Sir John Tenniel)

Alice walks into Wonderland and runs into her friend Mr. Rabbit. Alice realizes what Mr. Rabbit is running from, a wolf. So, they both run to the nearest rabbit hole falling down. They look around and see that they are in a garden. It is a completely new place and they can't believe it. They are in a new world. Why though?

A voice speaks from the heavens, "Mr. Rabbit and Alice, welcome to the Garden of Eden." Mr. Rabbit and Alice ask why they are there and who the voice was.

The voice replies, "I am God and you are here to make my newest creations, Adam and Eve, perform good choices. You are my creations as well and your job is to make sure that Adam and Eve do not eat from the tree of knowledge or know anything outside what I tell them. You all have knowledge since moving into my world; I am starting a new one. Okay, you have all you need. Goodbye!"

"Wait!" they yell, but it's too late. Alice asks Mr. Rabbit, "How will we know what Adam and Eve look like?"

Mr. Rabbit replies, "They are the only things in this world; we'll know them when we see them." 

Over the hill, they hear something.

Mr. Rabbit grabs Alice and says, "Dear Lord, I think I found Adam and Eve."

Alice says, "What? Oh my God!"

Adam and Eve are completely naked while running up to them.

They say, "Hello."

 They try to hug Mr. Rabbit and Alice. They both push Adam and Eve off them.

"Okay you all, God wants us to tell you two never to eat from the tree of knowledge and to know nothing outside of what God has told you."

Adam replies, "But I already knew Eve before you all got here."

Rabbit says, "What?"

Adam says, "Yeah, three times."

Alice thinks about the logic Adam uses.

Rabbit replies, "How do you know someone three times?"

Alice chimes in. "Yeah, how?"

Adam says, "Through the power of the Holy Spirit." 

"Okay enough jibber jabber," Rabbit says.

"Hey, do you all want some fruit?" They all hear this, but see nothing. They all look up in the tree and there lies a snake who is Satan.

Alice says, "No, that is the tree of knowledge and Adam and Eve are not to eat from there."

Satan says, "Do you always do what you are told? You all are hungry. I can see it in your eyes." Again, they all refuse based on the Lord's commandment. Satan finally threatens, "You all could be more knowledgable than God and if you choose not to eat, I will bite you infecting your body with venom. Then I will feed myself."

Adam replies, "No! Everyone get behind me!" Satan starts to rear up his head as he looks for a good striking point. Satan's ready to strike and right when he does Mr. Rabbit jumps in front of his bite. Mr. Rabbit lies on the ground still from the venom. Satan gets ready to strike again when boom! Mr. Rabbit starts thumping Satan's head up and down with his foot because the venom doesn't affect creatures from other worlds.

As he does this, Mr. Rabbit recites, "In the beginning, God didn't make snakes. Feel the power of seven days of creation bouncing your head in where you came from. P.S. Watch out for birds." Satan is struck down and now Mr. Rabbit with Alice heads back to Wonderland.

Alice and Mr. Rabbit start walking back, but everyone hears God's voice.

"Alice and Mr. Rabbit, it is not time to return home. As a matter of fact, you will be new disciples along Adam and Eve to save all creation from the war to come." Eve, Adam, Alice, and Mr. Rabbit have curious looks on their faces.

Alice says, "I thought all we had to do was save Adam and Eve."

God replies, "Yes, I know, but the world needs you now. I am sending you all into the future to stop Satan's reign over humanity."

Mr. Rabbit responds, "Why should we? I just want to go home."

God says, "If you do not, your home will have never existed for I see the future and what it holds."

Satan shows up with an army of snakes.

Alice yells, "Look!"

Mr Rabbit yells, "Run!" God opens a black hole to transport them to another world. They all jump at the last second just outrunning the snakes and the black hole shuts. All four yell as they jump into a black abyss. They land and see the world they are in is extremely different. 

Author's Note: I chose third person narration as the storytelling style for this story with emphasis in farce. I chose this style because I feel like a large amount of the time when it comes to Bible stories they are always so serious. So, I decided to lighten the mood and make people laugh showing them a story they have always heard in a way they have never seen. So, I chose one of my favorite stories as a kid (Alice in Wonderland)  and incorporated it into the Adam and Eve story in the Bible. My main goal for this story was to present Adam and Eve's ultimate decision in a funny way. I wanted the reader to understand this was a work of fiction and that it is okay to laugh in certain sensitive areas for people. I want people to know from this story that they should enjoy life, laugh, and take it easy. Lastly, I am making a series of time traveling stories and this is the first one. I decided to take many famous stories and mix their characters. Mr. Rabbit, Alice, Adam, and Eve now must figure out how to help God save the world from Satan one world at a time.  

In the original story in the Bible, God created Adam and Eve. God commanded Adam and Eve not to eat from the tree of knowledge. Eve is tempted by a snake and started eating from the tree of knowledge. Adam and Eve then knew they were naked after eating the fruit. They each started getting knowledge they never had before. That part of the story is known as the fall of man where sinning started. As a result, they were forced to work for everything.

In Alice and Wonderland, Alice chases a white rabbit, Mr. Rabbit, into Wonderland. There she discovered she must stop the queen. So, she took back Wonderland with all of her friends.  

Link to Story: Alice in Wonderland, Link to Story: Adam and Eve

Bibliography: Eve- King James Bible (1611), Un-Textbook
                       Alice in Wonderland- Lewis Carroll (1865), Un-Textbook


11 comments:

  1. I had never read anything about Eden, or actually anything to do with the bible. So this story was a first for me, and I like how you made it interesting. Even though I have never read anything in the bible, Ive seen little things from it and they are always so serious. The only thing is I would have made your authors note a little more descriptive of the original story, I know most people have probably read it but some like me have not so I do not know much about the original story. Overall it was a really good post, and I enjoyed it.

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  2. I really enjoyed reading your story because of the twist you gave it. I like how you were able to incorporate Alice and Mr. rabbit into the story and have it make sense. I also really enjoyed the humor you gave to the story. Specifically Adams dialogue and what he said about knowing eve. It is different and I believe that different is good because it is unique. I really enjoyed this post, good job!

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  3. I loved how you meshed Alice in Wonderland with the story of Adam and Eve. I think that is very original and creative. I also appreciated the amount of dialogue in the story a well. I think that the interaction between the characters made it much more interesting to read and to follow what was happening.The story of Adam and Eve is indeed a rather dark, sad story, so it was very impressive how you included your own twist to lighten the mood.Great job!

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  4. Hi Ben!

    I love that you chose a biblical story and decided to lighten the mood a little. This just makes it so much accessible to people because sometimes the darker stories just take a toll on you when you read them. You idea of mashing together Adam and Eve and Alice is so intriguing. This is one of the more original stories that I have read from this class! I hope you end up making this story idea into a storybook for this class because I feel like there is just so much potential!! I also liked that you used so much dialogue. That really helps paint a picture in the reader’s mind about what exactly is going on and gives insight into the personality of each of the characters. I was a little sad that the ending was a cliffhanger because I was really curious about what shenanigans these characters were going to get into next.

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  5. Hey Ben,

    First of all, I love all stories that reference Alice in Wonderland so I was super excited to read this story right off the bat! Your introduction was great and I love that you ended it with a cliff hanger that made us want to know how the world was in their hands.

    The combination between Alice in Wonderland and the Garden of Eden was so creative. I really enjoyed the dialogue in this story because I think without it, the story would have been difficult to fully understand and comprehend what they are doing with God and the Holy Spirit. I loved the part when God sent Alice and the Rabbit to the future to stop Satan from ruining mankind.

    Your author’s note was very thought out and it helped me to understand the mix of the two stories. This story took a very creative mind and I think you nailed it. The links work and the grammar was great. Your bibliography looks different than mine but I think it might still be okay! Great job on this story and I can’t wait to read more.

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  6. I really enjoyed this story. I thought you did a good job of being very creative by blending the two stories together. I was kept on my toes because it was not like anything I had read before, and I couldn’t predict the outcome. The only thing I had to compare it to was the bible and original Alice, which is something that would be hard to retell a story from.
    Separating the dialogue and making brief paragraphs made the story easier to follow.
    As far as formatting goes, I liked that you placed this picture at the first of the story so that it did not affect the reader’s image while reading the story. Your font is also easy to read! Thanks for that one.
    I could not find any grammatical errors in this story.
    Good job! I look forward to reading more of your stories about Alice and Mr. Rabbit!

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  7. Hey Ben!
    The idea of merging several famous stories with the characters from Alice in Wonderland, Alice and Rabbit, is very very creative and I think it is going to end up as a really cool series of stories! The tone of the story is comical, but I thought that the action was a little underwhelming when I read it; it kind of seemed that really large action parts were quickly glossed over! I liked that you changed the tone of God's voice in this story, but something seemed off when I read it, like the tone didn't match all the way through all of his dialogue! At times, his tone is very serious, much like in the original bible story, and at others his tone completely switches to casual in the same dialogue. I liked that you had a lot of dialogue to explain what was happening in the story, it kept me really intrigued in the story!

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  8. Wow this is so different than anything that I have read so far in this semester. It is just so creative and outside of anything that I would have thought of! I think that it is a really cool idea to blend a single story type and incorporate it into other well-known stories from throughout history. It is such a great idea to have a common thread throughout all of the stories in your portfolio to make everything seem more connected and as a classic anthology of stories. I also really like that you went for a comical, if not satirical take on the retelling of your stories. You’re right in saying that everyone takes stories such as Adam and Eve so seriously and think them above comical moments or dialogue. It’s important that we be able to find the humor in our history. Once again, great job, Ben! I’ll definitely keep an eye out for your portfolio this semester!

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  9. Wow Ben. There is a lot of creativity going on here. I would never have dreamed of combining time travel, Alice and Wonderland, and a biblical story but it makes for a very interesting read. Perhaps it’s a bit sacrilegious of me but I couldn’t help but giggle throughout. The mental image of the White Rabbit and Alice pushing away Adam and Eve; It’s just so out there! I really like it.
    So big points for creativity and your writing was very easy to follow. I don’t feel like you skipped any action or left out information. One think I would try to do is work on setting the scene a bit more. Your sentences cut straight to the action with out describing what’s going on around the characters. Adding that in would make the story seem more complete. Try to describe what the characters see, feel, and here just a bit more. I would also like to see a bit more interaction between the White Rabbit and Alice. How are they feeling about this crazy situation?
    Great job Ben! You’ve always got a great angel on these stories.

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  10. Hi Ben!
    I chose to read your portfolio this week for extra credit. I was interested in your stories because they are about Alice and Wonderland. I love Alice and Wonderland so much. I like how you have taken the overtone of the whimsical fun of Wonderland and tied it to another interesting story. Mr. Rabbit is quite the hero! I really did laugh and I did not see the end coming! Satan sure is a piece of work! I think I would like to have seen more description of Alice and also the famed Garden of Eden that they found themselves in. Even a description of Mr. Rabbit. Is he the same size as Alice? Is she a small child? How does all that work? Maybe another image on the page, one of Alice? Just my opinion. I like the storyline very much and had fun reading your story! I look forward to seeing more adventures in Wonderland!

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  11. That is such cool idea to reuse these awesome characters and put them into different worlds. Placing them in the Adam and Eve story was an awesome choice. It is such an interesting spin on an old story.You did a great job on the flow of the dialogue. It was easy to follow and you added such good characteristics to each character. I am really eager to read more of your stuff and see the adventures these characters get into next!

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